That Doubt feeling that has been going around your stomach all day. You do want to be happy but something tells you to stop faking your smile and start showing what you really feel. That's the problem, I don't know what I'm feeling. I don't know if I'm depressed, if I'm just sad, if I'm just overthinking, if I'm just being paranoid, if I'm just tired. I am and hundred percent sure that I am not certain with what's bothering me inside.
I think I'm starting to doubt myself already. I don't know what's going on my mind lately. I'm aware that my mind is totally used up, but I don't know why. Sometimes, my eyes just tear up and just stop when I'm asleep. Sometimes, I try to control those drops just to keep it from everyone to see. Sometimes, I don't even know that those tears are crawling down my cheeks in such instant.
I've been cutting off my hobbies and it just worsened everything. Maybe, if my friends aren't around, I wouldn't be standing tall again. I wouldn't even bother taking care of myself if there's no one to lean on. I'm just glad that they're there to make me happy and show me that I still have a reason to live.
I'm doubting that I'm still me. I'm doubting that I am fully me when I'm around. This cover, it will soon fade off, but I hope it won't. I just wish something will happen to renew this cover. I don't want to fade this off and when time comes just disappears. I might not be myself if that's the case.
My life is a living mess. Well, everyone's life, actually. It's the matter of how you would able to stand up again and redo the things you regret. Hoping for the best, but expect the least, so disappointments would not come and down you.
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